Over the years, I've watched a ton of movies where two best friends argue over a man or a job or a wedding venue and proceed to get into a huge, hair-pulling, fist o'cuffs fight. After rolling around on the ground and being stopped just short of knocking out teeth, the two rise and become sworn enemies or even BETTER friends. I say that this scenario is a bunch of bologna and real life just doesn't work this way.
Moreover, I've rarely seen feuding friends get physical over a problem...heck, they may not even get verbal. What happens is a "falling out". Friend A betrays a secret or some other violation of the friend code. Friend B finds out and proceeds to freeze out Friend A. The phone calls, invitations, and outings cease. Friend A wonders what is going on. Feelings are hurt. One day, they see each other out with different people. They both politely say that they need to get together sometime soon. And they don't.
I've seen men get mad and get over it. They're back to being best buds by the next day. Go ahead- I know you're calling me sexist. It's not true, but I won't be mad.
image from: http://www.impawards.com/2009/bride_wars.html
It's funny that you should do a posting on this, because I was just talking to a friend of mine about it just yesterday, regarding the difference between male/male friends and female/female friends.
ReplyDeleteIn general, I'd say that it's true what you say that men seem to get over the disagreements and slights that friends inevitably visit upon one another. Men often let things slide completely without a second thought; or, they get pissed off and then, before you know it, things are back to normal.
Women don't seem to do this quite so easily with each other. I think it has something to do with intimacy. In general, women seem to have much more intimate friendships with each other than men do with each other. They confide secret feelings, things that some men don't even seem to know about themselves much less have the ability to tell each other. Women often hug and kiss each other, hold hands, even cuddle at times in ways men rarely, if ever, do.
But there's a possible downside to such intimacy, people make themselves vulnerable to each other when they're intimate. It's the price you pay sometimes: when you trust someone to certain levels of intimacy who doesn't perhaps deserve those intimacies, you risk betrayal.
Men, who so often do not ascend to such heights with each other, also do not descend to the same depths.
Carter, I agree with your analysis of the differences between the sexes in same gender relationships. I think your last observation is spot on!
ReplyDeleteAs my husband says, "Women remember everything." LOL. It's right I still remember five years ago when he forgot to put the toothpaste cap on. Just kidding, sort of. :)
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